a lot like paradise

well friends, needless to say I had a great weekend. the family we stayed with is so warm and welcoming and had an amazing villa with all of the fixings (as you can see in the photos). we arrived there friday afternoon and we ate lunch outside on the little picnic table, facing the oliverie. the weather was beautiful and sunny, and i felt like i was in paradise. after lunch we got right to work... we took a little tour of their property and Annie showed us an old roman bridge hidden in the woods. chloe and i planted two cherry trees and an apricot tree, then a little later we went to their vineyard and help plant some vines! man, i am going to miss the 4 course dinners here, and wine!

unfortunately the rest of the weekend the weather was not very nice, so we set some fires in the woods because in southern france there is a lot of dry brush and in the summer when it gets very hot, there are many forest fires, so people are required to "clean" their forests and burn brush. this seemed to be a very funny thing to be doing while is france (to me).

Annie brought us to Saint Tropez for the rest of the day... we had to drive through mountains to get there and it was so beautiful. St. Tropez is on the coast (mediterranean) and it's very ritzy, many celebrities come there especially in the summer. the french daughter said she saw Bruce Willis there one summer. haha. we also went to a interpretive dance saturday night... the dancer's interpretation of the islamic religion... it was super interesting and amazing how he could move his body. it made me want to be a devout yogi!

the rest of the weekend we spent eating, lounging, and looking at fashion magazines (Madame Figaro. haha). the french mom, Annie asked for my e-mail address to stay in contact with me. :)

now i'm back in Aix, going to class, getting back into the groove.

Oh, so in europe they have this amazing invention called good espresso vending machines!!! the machine makes it right in front of you, you can choose how much sugar you want. plain espresso, cafe creme, cafe au lait, etc. i will take a picture. a cafe creme (=espresso and a little milk) is 60 centimes (euro cents)!!! and so during class breaks (because sometimes i have 4 hours classes) there are a bunch of people who gather in the courtyard sitting on benches, smoking, etc. with these little espresso cups. it''s purely divine! and i do not know why we do not have them!!! they have them here in gas stations, at my school, airports, TGV stations, everywhere!

Can you believe tomorrow will be APRIL? i can't.

P.S. skype me! it's fun.

le week-end

So what i've been learning that strikes are very common here. although the french have practically free schooling, because of all of the strikes going on right now they cannot hold class and therefore their schooling is prolonged. i was talking to violette about it and she said she was in class and a bunch of communist students came in and started yelling things and calling the teacher a fascist so they had to stop class! and yesterday she attempted to go to her class and there were tons of chairs put outside of the classroom and in front of the door so you couldn't enter. woah! you really learn the best and worst things about your own country. I responded by saying "well at least you don't have to pay for school" and she said, " yeah but i would rather pay knowing I would be getting something in return!" haha. yeah, the U.S. is also more official in their offices and important matters like that. The bureau for foreign students is a joke... they are very disorganized and illogical. i still don't know how many credits my french program is. all i know is it is at least 12. oh, but the funniest thing here is if there is an organized strike, the people on strike still get paid!!! ridiculous.

I also learned that France's social security is better than the U.S. because the money people pay for social security (money coming our of their check like taxes) is directly payed to retired people right then... our (U.S.) social security apparently is INVESTED and so when there are economic problems, it is not certain that the funds be there when we get older!!! yikes.

to believe or not believe:
this weekend i am visiting the family that i stayed with in Paris. they invited Chloe and I to come to their home in the southern countryside. when we were in Paris, the father jokingly invited us, saying we should come and trim olive branches. then he casually mentioned while we were eating that the wine we were drinking with the meal was from "their vineyard" so Chloe and i were floored. because when you're filtering through the French language, sometimes you have to think twice. "wait, did he just say they owned a vineyard and an oliverie???" Alyssa thought to herself, shocked but silent. the answer is yes. they do. and i am staying there for the weekend and trimming trees! i'm hoping the weather will be nice! i'll get to meet their other daughter who i haven't met yet. apparently she goes to Oxford in London... i'll let you know how it goes!

haha. i like this little video. someday i want a videocam and make fun little videos.

xxx

is anyone reading my blogggg?

:(


Sincerely,

Alienated Alyssa

ma belle-mere

here they say beautiful mother, father, etc instead of step-mother or step-father. interesting. they also say celebetaire for being single, which i do NOT prefer, but vive la langue (live the language). I am amazed how time is flying by and how almost every weekend from here on out is planned with some site to see, it makes it seem like i am leaving soon, which i do not want to think about at this moment.

when i first got here and was feeling homesick, there was a wikihow site i was looking "how to fight homesickness" haha, and one suggestion was to immerse yourself in the culture and see what there is to see, meet people and ask about their experiences and it will make you not think about being "stuck here" haha. well i heeded their advice. i have friends here now, a french language partner who is really sweet, and a belle mere. I asked her to watch a movie with me last night, it was french and surprisingly i really understood it (in french with french subtitles). Lately we've been talking about a lot of important matters and just the way society is progressing. I am very surprised to communicate of these topics because they are deep and in French. For example that the feminist movement was not good for families and that the differences between sexes is getting smaller, and that adolescents is becoming longer and that youth are more confused now and that they are less happy. And i guess it is also a trend here to delay marriage, or just live together and not get married. I asked the average age for marriage and she said about 30!!! yikes.

She also talks about her previous American students.... oh man. think paris hiltons. i am glad she knows it depends on the American because she's had some ridiculous but cliche American girls staying with her. I am glad that she views this exchange between us a learning experience for both of us because I am really learning a lot about France and wine and things in general. Yesterday i asked what her favorite age was at dinner and she said she loved every age they are just different and she explained the differences. And i thought of how beautiful that was. She really is a beautiful person. I really got lucky... or maybe luck is the wrong word.

la premier jour de ma vie

i am really starting to like it here. the way i can buy a fresh baguette and cheese and go to the market for some fruit fresh daily and eat lunch by a fountain or in the courtyard of my school...
...or i could have a coffee at a little cafe with a decadent dessert and write or do my homework. i'm really getting used to the provencial landscapes too, mont sainte victoire, the tan/pink/blue stucco apartment buildings and shutters, the olive trees and lavander and poppy flowers, the balconies and beautiful outdoor views.

I am expanding my social network and hanging out with people in my class more. today i had a picnic in the park with 3 girls. I enjoy that everyone seems to be from a different place, i'm learning a lot about everywhere! like that an eraser in the U.K. is a rubber... haha! man, i just want to visit everywhere and see the entire world....

I am pretty sure for my spring break Chloe and I are going to the U.K. for two weeks. One week in London and one in Manchester... her mom seems to have friends all over. I met her mom and she is really fun... she seems to have lived a great life and done many things, she's really interesting. She kind of reminds me of Maryl Streep in Mama Mia! haha. truly. i really like that movie...

Another things... it seems i am slipping into the oblivion, as if i am disappearing from the radar, but for the first time in my life i am happy with that. being normal has never seemed so beautiful and ideal to me as it does now. I just feel like i don't need anything anymore, just knowing is enough, i don't have to say it or post it on a bilboard or anything because i have it and that's all that's necessary. Most of my life I wanted it to be known that i was different and be marked by differences, but no, not now. I have found this sense of security in that no matter what, other people cannot take some things away from you... there are aspects of yourself that belong solely and inherently to you alone, and they can't take that unless you let them.

Selah.

st. patrick's day

haha. so last night, i decided randomly that i wanted to go out for st. patrick's day... talk about ridiculous. i felt like i was in america. it was such a culture clash... thinking the french are taking part in this "holiday" (just another excuse to drink). so i went to an irish pub (there are a total of three in aix) and all of the little streets were pretty spare until BAM, i turned around the corner and people were bursting out of the pub, tons of drunks in the street drinking beer and wearing crazy hats and things. i met chloe and my swedish friend, frida and we went in and had a guiness (which i did not enjoy a drop of, but hello it's st. patrick's day!) had a few run-ins with some french drunks, and once again realized that i just do not belong in the night life scene. haha. i'm glad i went though, i've been wanting to go out here just to see what it's like and I have never taken part in this holiday before except for having a shamrock shake one year.... which might i add tasted much better than the dreadful beer i drank. so, Oh and i like irish coffee better too! next year perhaps live jazz and an irish coffee will suit me just fine.

IXVM

I. There is this girl in my class that I have been getting to know, she's from California and somehow we got to talking about religion a few times in class (speaking in French)... she is agnostic, and often tells me her problem with Christianity and i defend it a try to help her understand it. But the hardest thing about it is that with our generation it is impossible to make anything seem valid. We don't believe in anything, and if we do we believe in everything and we have a preference but all paths are equally good, there is no right or absolute path. So even though I tell her for example that I am a Protestant, she will say "good for you, I am a -----". And she even told me that she likes Judaism, Islam, and Buddhism because they are different from Christianity (what she grew up with)- it has no logic theologically at all, but that she thinks other religions are more interesting.. not that they are any more truthful or right, but because they are more interesting. But I am glad being here is making me realize that i am in the world rather than protected in a safe environment, it is very interesting being surrounded by non-Christians all of the time.

II. I am very content knowing that I am finally doing what I want to do... that i'm not waiting for a future date, or looking forward to a unattainable future. I am finally doing one of the major goals that I have wanted to do for a long time... some days i questioned if it would ever come and here it is. There were so many pot holes and obstacles and I questioned whether I was even supposed to come, and even when I got here it got even harder which i did not imagine and it was trial after trial slowly it became worth it. It is how I imagine a jet taking off... it has to break through layers of the earth's atmosphere and there is full turbulence and you can tell the engines are working in overdrive and you are kind of nervous to see if you'll actually get to the place of zero gravity and bam! there you are! and there are all of the stars and the moon!

III. i don't think Kirsten Dunst is a great actress but for some reason I like all of the films she was in (that i saw) especially elizabethtown and I have this fascination with her. this for example...

easy

sooo... i have been thinking about how easy it is to forget someone if you really want to. cutting someone off completely is really the best way to do it. cold turkey. i mean i obviously remember memories and a shared past, but really i feel different, i bet this person that i have forgotten has also changed. i don't remember the sound this blank person's voice and really it's hard for me to picture his face, i seriously cannot remember it. and i have no photos that remind me that it existed. i have no contact with this individual, i may never see this person again. and i trully don't feel anything. no sentiments, no longins, no wanting to talk with him. although somtimes i dream about him, but it isn't really him- it's the embodiment of his vague exterior. and when i wake up for a brief second annoyed that he was in my dream, i just think "well that was not him" he did not do what he would have done in the acutality of existence, it was an idea and anyone could have filled his place but it just so happened to be him. sometimes i want him in my bed with me, but it isn't him i want in my bed with me, it's the idea of what he represented. he gave me physical gratification and maybe it's just the truth that i liked that and that idea more than i liked him, and maybe towards the end i used that to keep him a little longer than i should have. it's that place i wanted filled.

so here it is, i settled. i lowered my standards for instant gratification.
i learned.

and now i'm in France and traveling the world!!!

deep violet

color personality quiz... it's correct.

PURPLE

Purple is the color of spirituality. Purple personalities are always striving to be better than they consider themselves to be, both on a spiritual, emotional and a mental plane.

Needing more knowledge, they become avid readers. Trying to become what they think they should be, they search their own lives and the lives of others to find the answers. The study of religions makes them feel as if they are accomplishing something bigger than themselves in life. A good theological discussion is right up their alley.

Wanting to help as many people as they can, they are more than willing to give you the benefit of their education. Trying to achieve perfection, they seem to struggle with themselves more than most because they tend to be so critical of themselves.

http://www.personalityquiz.net/colortests/colors.htm

ravishing.

i like this to an unhealthy extent...

i'm just a small town girl

i don't think anyone really realizes that i am from a small town and i've seen very traditional relationships and i know what hick and country are. Many of my cousins have worked on farms, my uncle had a farm when I was younger, me and my other cousins got to name the little pigs (not knowing we would eventually be eating them) and saw calves being born, we used to run from the mean geese that my uncle had as pets. My uncles hunt, my aunts care way too much about the size of their diamonds (more so than their relationships) my brother is a hick, i know guys who only like trucks, hunt, and work on cars, they never went to school--they just learned since they were young. Most of my extended relatives have some form of taxidermy in their house. Pretty much all of my aunts and uncles never went to college.

Sometimes i question how i got here? When i talk to some of my cousins, they act like going to college, moving away, visiting France is some other world that they can't enter. It's really sad... that they don't think they could have dreams. I am very thankful to have amazing parents.

Although I think i've been on opposite spectrums trying to balance where i came from and who i want to be, i need to be in the center. I feel like i keep jumping all over the spectrum with what i want and eventually i will land in the middle.

ok... i am realy warming up to Taylor Swift... haha. and i like this song! and i wouldn't mind something a little more traditional. i was traditionally brought up- these are my roots! i wouldn't mind living in a small town again or maybe even having a little farm... some chickens, a cow. but the beautiful thing is! I haven't made any decisions yet! I can still change what I want, i am young! Next week I can decide I want to teach English in China after I graduate if i want to!

i was a dreamer before i met you:

i am a princess.
this is a fairytale.
i am the one you'll sweep off her feet
and lead her up the stairwell.

this is a big town.
this is hollywood.
i am a dreamer.

not too late for a white horse to come around.

???

is it bad that lovey dovey things make me a little sick right now?

hahaha. it's sad but true. not in an overly pessimistic way or anything but when i see high schoolers making out at the bus stop and imagining what they are promising each other i can't help but think it's all a little ridiculous. and even people my age-- i prefer not to take part. hearts and stars and unreachable dreams right now. i don't know, i'm really into friendships at the moment.

it's really strange... i was talking to chloe the other day about how i have two friends getting married this summer and she thought it was the weirdest thing to get married so young. and really, i have been in the Christian subculture mindset that it is normal. so it was really refreshing to hear that on the large scale, it isn't! I really had to step back to think about it because i really that it was super normal.

ha.

la fin de la semaine

Gran Tarino was one of the best films i have seen in a while. i definitely recommend it! wow. bang, and it wasn't dubbed in French! yay. It had French subtitles. The lady's apartment we ate at was atop a hill in Paris and had a great view of the eiffel tower, and i guess on the hour every hour of night it had these crazy blinking lights that look like diamonds! (normally at night it's just lit).

I went to the Champs-Elysees and the arc du triomphe, which is where all of the haute couture stores are. And I went to some high end department stores, le printemps and la gallerie de lafayette. WOW i am floored by all of the haute couture fashion i saw today. but truly, it makes me want to return to fox valley thrift and go thrifting. haha. tried and true.

Today is my last day in Paris, the family we are staying with is bringing us on the bateau mouche- a boat tour on the Seine!!! Then they are bringing us out for supper at a restaurant. They are very generous people and very warm. I will miss them.

la cité de la mort

i went to this large cemetary today, called père lachaise cemetary... it is where a plethora of famous people are burried, including:

-edith piaf
-jim morrison
-chopin
-oscar wilde
-proust

It is an elaborate cemetary with large house-like gravestones above ground (it's in Paris, Je t'aime if you remember) ... it's more like a city of the burried than a cemetary. it was beautiful. you will see photos.

i also went to this cafe for lunch and spent way too much money, but it was delicious. i love the food here. i might be splurging on food when i return, but it will be farmer's market!!!

tonight i am (and chloe) going with the mother of the family we are staying with to her friend's house for pizza, then we're all (4 of us) going to the film "Gran Torrino"--hopefully i will understand it because it will most likely be dubbed in French. haha.

show your bones (and your books)!

what did i do today?

walked underground a few kilometers, below the metro and the sewers, to the CATACOMBS of Paris! rows and rows of bones of people who in the 1800s had a plague and were brought during the night by a priest wearing all black, below ground and stacked bone by bone- trailing through unending tunnels belowground. it was incredible!

I also went to this famous english bookstore, Shakespeare & Co. where I bought a Rumi book. They stamped it with a shakespeare and co. stamp to show i bought it there. haha. It was so beautiful and charming inside... and I thought of my roommates because a song by Andrew Bird came on. xoxo.

sad embarrassing conviction: i went to starbucks yesterday!!! sorry Paris! sorry France! and today i went to a cafe "breakfast in america" hahah! don't tell anyone please. Chloe and I thought it would be funny to go. it was 50s style diner. cute, but definitely too small of a cafe to be in America but large enough sizes for America! And the ironic part is that Chloe is still sick right now from breakfast in America... shes in the room resting. sad.

I will be making a photo album/art journal of my time here I bought a book today! you will see it one day not so far off.

love you,

Alyssa

bonjour from paris!

i am very angry. i just wrote a two stupid page blog which took a very long time only to have this dumb french keyboard delete it all and there is no "back" button. it was a long lovely letter about all of the things i have seen so far.

instead i will tell you what i did today: i visited the chatea of Varseilles- home of Marie Antoinette! It was so beautful and gradiose-everything is overthetop. I had an audioguide tour through all of the rooms and bedchambers, and they gave you very interesting factual historic information. And this time i got to see her own village/chateau which is separate from Varseilles. It is briefly in the movie but just for a second (her getaway after her first daughter is born). Wow it was breath-taking! There is a petite little village with a farm and a little walled city as quaint as can be. I could just imagine the movie reeling through my head. i will have to watch it again soon because it made me so happy to discover it... it was if it was lost in the woods and never seen. unfortunately my camera does not catch everything i see...

As always with adventures includes making mistakes, learning from them and hopefully not repeating the same one twice. I will admit there were a few times when i got lost on the metro, in the street, didnt know how to say something, but the important thing is im figuring it out on my own and the more mistakes i make, the less it really matters.

love & wish you were here!!!
xoxoxo.