the third degree of separation

i've decided i don't like night. nothing good ever happens at night. despite my negatively seeming attitude, the majority of the time i am positive and content, but when darkness falls, it steals my soul along with it. today i was elated about france. i did a whole list of "to dos" and felt fulfilled, but as i've heard, female's well-being is to a large extent determined by the state of her relationships... it's true. i am a conflicted mess and it isn't due to internal issues, so i cannot mediate them which troubles me so. i feel largely that i'm fending for myself, more and more so every day.