pensive

you know, i don't think anyone was meant to live a life constantly on "the road" or in passing. I love traveling, I enjoy interesting opportunities, I'm learning a lot about myself and it has just been over a week! But I think each person formulates what they like and dislike about each culture they are a part of and the positive things they incorporate into their lifestyle.

You kind of find "where you are supposed to be or where you are not supposed to be" and I really think this is something I need. I know that I could fit in here if I wanted to live here, but really I would rather take some of the things that I have learned here home with me and incorporate them into my lifestyle. But the main point is that I will always have this, it cannot be taken away.

It's really strange how we appreciate things once we are far away from them and know we cannot return. But I think I will like America once I return--not all of it of course but I am learning the good parts of it. Madame told me today that the French are never happy, "capricious" is the word she used and really it's interesting because they have a beautiful stage to act out their life, they don't work that much, and their lives are centered around food and friendship, but it seems they get worked up very easily as if they are just waiting to respond to something that is going wrong, especially the women. This is when I appreciate the American's easy-going attitude and friendliness and kind of brotherhood.

And although Americans are quite consumeristic buying loads of cheap and meaningless things in general, the French also have their own type of consumerism. It's called high end boutiques "I payed over 150 euros for each article of clothing i'm wearing" consumerism. To a woman over 30 in the U.S. to be unfashionable is almost understandable and expected, but to a French woman, if she does not desire to be fashionable, she must feel as though she needs to keep up with the other very attractive, and fit older French women.

I have also noticed that there are less types of people here. Because what's "good" is what's in style everyone wants to be that and I think there are less classes of people (which that is good for economy), whereas in America, there is pluralism and different people do different things to fit into their respective groups. I miss that aspect a little... the vegans in uptown, the african americans bumpin their beats in the streets, the corporates downtown rushin to their business affairs, trashy looking college girls in dinky town, the scene or indie kids outside of first ave. This part of France is more culturally pure, and for good reason they protect their culture, as would I if I had this to protect, but it is almost as if there is no way around the mainstream. Anyway I believe that America too has something to protect- it's melting pot of people--that is our culture! I just got really excited about that just now, as if I personally discovered it. haha.