try and catch me now

it's funny. i've left the country, seemingly lost in my own land. and here i jet off to France, now i'm gridding the streets, finding the way, scanning the bus system, knowing no one-- in a way recreating myself.

...and it is here that i find exactly who i knew i always was. and i am so happy to have that veil lifted off of my face. it's very hard to explain but i feel much lighter. before i left i knew i had changed but i felt weighed down by something i could not pinpoint and i was not happy and i wanted to revert back but i did not know how. it was the most horrible feeling... and of course it got worse before it got better.

I am just so relived to be back. truly. now i feel like doing all of these ridiculous things and nothing is holding me back. I was trying before i left but i needed to be liberated by something else and finally i have achieved it. (long drawn out sigh). no more feeling sorry for myself.

VIOLETTE: my new french friend whom i meet for french/english language exchange at least once a week! she's so cute and nice. she talks a lot, and is getting her master's in French literature. each time we meet we have a topic to talk about, cultural differences, favorite books/music. it's so interesting!

VENICE: i'm leaving tomorrow for the weekend. i will be attending the carnival of venice so i am hoping to get an elaborate mask with feathers and pure decadence! ahh i can't believe i'm going! I am taking a bus, staying at a hostel, i'll have to take a boat taxi to the main island because the hostel is not on the island with St. Marco's square and all of the embellishments!