vin

so i've been drinking wine every night with supper, which is great. BUT there's this problem, i've been having horrible dreams and not sleeping well. i will wake up many times in the night and it seems like each time i wake up i remember a different dream, of people, places, that i want to forget or at least not remember those aspects of our times together.

Part of my strategy for survival here is, not to listen to too much music with associations attached to them, so that this can be a fresh existence and i make it my own... i don't want to be remembering things that are history and thousands of miles away. my mind is in the state to burn bridges and that is exactly what i am doing, but i do not like it when remnants of the past creep in and cause me to reminisce a little to long. but that's life, it happened, and memories last forever.

wow, i have intense language classes. Today i had 6 hours of class in a row... all in FRENCH. i'm getting better at comprehension at least. It's interesting that i'm studying french for this semester here in france and when i return to the U.S. i won't be taking it any more, it's just this little segment of my life, tucked away here. i like that.

what's really interesting is that the French want to be American.... yeah. I can hardly find a radio station that plays solely french tunes, they have theaters that only play American movies, and people here seem to be really into American pop culture. I'm just overhearing french TV right now and a french woman is saying (in french) how she likes "sex in the city and deperate house wives". And the other day i turned on the TV and "will and grace" was on with french voice over. haha. ridiculous. some of my bus drivers solely listen to pop american music (beyonce, lady gaga, akon, etc.) Also, their advertisements will have these 50s american songs, and then french talking... it's just really weird how it seems like we've "taken over". i wonder if most other european countries are like that. it's funny that it seems like most european countries don't like us, yet they want to be us. contradiction.

i sometimes don't really even feel bad that we've sort of taken over, because if they did not like our ideals and what we stood for, they wouldn't want what we have, and thus they would not try to be like us. (and when i say we, its not like i'm a postergirl for an American, but I am American, I was born in America).

In fact, at a cafe the other day while i was waiting for Chloe, I wrote a little story in a southern dialect about how i am american... haha?